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comfortable yet im hesistating..
im scared..


nv work much on the website today, no inspiration..
only did some online researching..
hope tmr i will gather some inspiration and have a theme in mind..

probably going to do a basic one then as time goes slowly improve it..

okies!

goodnight!
i want sleep early..
dun like the pandie eyes im having nowadays..

PS: is ressurection possible?


couldnt focus on executing my tasks today.. arghs..


im dead tired..
after cycling for 50 over KM today..
from 3pm to 2am..

shagged..

but i need to write an email before i can go to bed..


just got screwed by my dad..
my hp bill was up to $200+..
faints..


lyric from one of my favourite eurodance song..
meaningful...

i keep listening to this song every night before i sleep.. and even now im blasting it too...

a eurodance song with good lyrics just send pple into a trance..
but of cause the listener must listen it with their heart and dont hate it just because its considered 'techno' to them..

the thing about electronic songs is i feel that they're the only genre that can allow the listener to drift into a trance/daze..



If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so

I can't play your part in life
But I would surely walk my way
I cannot think the way you think
But I would never go away

You can trust me when I say
That I will always be for real
You can always count on me
No metter how alone you feel

If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you

I would never...
I would always...

I can't tell you what to do
I can only hope for more
More decisions to be good
Like the way they were before

I can't dream the things you dream
Cause I would not know where to start
Life is never what is seems
when two souls are far apart

I don't wanna know
How it feels to lose a friend
And if I were you
I would never leave again

If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you

If I were you
I would never let me go
If I were you
I would always love me so
If I were you


mehs..
guess tonight im really going to sleep early..
try to wakeup earlier too haha!

in a sick way i miss those normal routines i use to do during army..
during those days everyday felt so long..
because i wakeup at 6am during my unit life? and 5am in tekong?
then all the way till evening..
the hours in a day seem longer haha..

now when i wakeup its already like late noon..
dots..

too stressed up previously.. and im still suffering from the effects..
couldnt have a good sleep and wakeup feeling fresh etc..

and baby keep finding white hair on my head..
dont remember myself having so many of those before =x..

arghs..

just hasnt been great.. some people keep asking me to help
as if im some santa when im already troubled and occupied with myself..
do they even bother to think for me when they should?

i have friends claiming to be good friend.. when all he did
was to call me when he's bored and talk about rubbish when i dont
even have much to talk to him.. while he has plenty of time at that point..
cause he was working and waiting for his time to pass.. ok i dont mind talking..
but he can drag for hours when im already like so bored hinting him to put down..
worst when im doing something at that point of time too.. and he expects me to stop
wat im doing and talk..

but no he doesnt catch it.. and i dont feel like being a mean guy and say "wat the fck are u talking abt, u're boring me out, are u just calling me because u're bored?"
tat sort of stuffs..

if they're just gona call me all the time and repeat the same shit it makes no sense for me to answer their calls when im busy.. then they say that i never answer their calls bla bla bla..

then i've pple wanting to borrow money from me again.. wth.. i wish im working in a bank.. i also need cash myself like they do.. why must i save money and restrict myself from buying what i desires and end up lending it out with no guarantees of seeing my money again?..

yes im quite an accommodating person.. but i just feel disgusted when people 1 by 1 start stepping over my head.. worst when they themselves dont even care much and only look for me when they're in need of companion or for a reason.. and when i the invisible friend to them from the start, couldnt make it or be there then they start getting pissed off, getting offended and shits.. and start putting all the shit on me.. this is lame.. and im tired of all these kinda people.. sickening!..

if you dont even want to spare a thought, to understand what your 'friend' is going through or needs.. then dont fucking expect them to give a shit about you too!


i am uber shagged man..
going nuts...

dont really like this kinda unhealthy life..
i need to stop all this 'night life'..

got home then have to handle another batch of work/orders from my parents..
sometimes wish i can get some peace..

i wish they can stop asking..


great man.. its going to rain like mad..
how am i going to get out..
*runs*


mhm. its a cloudy day again.. the sky's dark and yellowish..
guess its going to be another wet evening and night later?..
=x..

well hasnt been blogging much cos i've been quite occupied this week..
mehx..

well last night was doing flyer with tiff mei and zen di.. its so tiring to do
landed houses lol! we only distributed a small portion of the neighbourhood
and it felt like ages.. gosh..

after that they came to my place to rest and chill till ard 5am..

anyway! firstly congrats ben! ur wish came true! told u nt to worry so much liao..
stay happy and loving ok :)

although i've registered for my uni course le.. but still feeling some uncertainty inside..
really shitty.. i hate the perfectionist thinking.. also due to external factors keep making me
wonder if i've made the right choice..
its true that i shd just follow my heart and pick wat i like.. but well i realized that i require
alot external support too with my decisions..
anyway i dont want to go back to ECE cause i know my standards.. i deffinitely will struggle
in uni.. though yah my sister said if i work harder it might be fine.. but im hesistating on it..

afraid to make the same mistake twice.. but aint i a risk taker? haha but well studies..
i had my share of risk and i've learnt from it.. i think its better to do something i've more
confidence in.. then to go for something i dont have so much confidence and suffer..

after all this is education u're talking about..

thought about going overseas.. well im quite tempted to challenge myself actually..
but well 3 - 4yrs aint a short time man.. i dont wish it to be an act of impulse..
if im going overseas its to study CE.. at first im more or less set on it.. but then dad
kept telling me negative things and say that my character isnt really suitable for the job..
i believe its not that i cant stand the weather and harsh environment but perhaps yes the
PR side.. and how to handle all the workers, supervisors and contractors.. they're all
hard and hokkien styled.. its true that i maybe too soft to control them...
my dad has his points.. afterall hes been in the line for so long he knows wat kinda
personalities are required to make the job work..

oh well.. and it cost a total of about 200k aust dollars to study in aust for the whole course.. and also
living expenses etc etc.. its not cheap! and well its not like my dad can afford then i must go..
im not feeling that well confident right now.. im afraid i'll waste the money.. so the safer path is
study in sg first, meanwhile i can also work and do something worthwhile.. while im getting my
degree here.. and after that perhaps if i still want to try overseas life and learn to be independent and
have a taste of overseas learning i can take my masters there.. or go for summer attachments..

i've been thinking alot alot since i orded.. going nuts.. so well yesterday i just went to register first..
at least i secure a place.. instead of just thinking and no action.. whether i get enroled in anot is another
problem though.. but at least i did something..

bah!~ my mind still so clouded by all the worries and decision making.. *shakes*

anyway today baby got OT.. hmm wonder wat would we be doing tonight mmmhm...

tmr morning have to attend my grandma 100th day..


just wakeup.. i slept at around 8+am..
wth.. must be too exhausted from all the events..

well tiff mei called me and ask me to start preparing so i can go around doing the flyer with her..
wow i feel so dead now lols.. but well gona go wash up, change and meet her at her house bus-stop..


just got back from tiff mei's place.. mhm cycled there and back..

had a chat with her..
well hope she and zn will be fine soon..
wow got to meet cj soon.. at kap.. 5 30am..


post written on the 16th..
a summary of what happened on the 10th and 11th..

well this weekend was spent with baby.. she stayed over my place on sat night..
well i was with her since friday night then around sat noon then she came over my place..
fri night we went to PS and watched future X-Cop since there wasnt good slots for Date Night..
baby introed me a new section of the MRT in PS.. lol i didnt even know that section existed..
faints~

on Sat we played badminton and also swim at zen's place.. it was great..
then we watch the stupid lame ju-on after eating great dominos pizza!
thats a real chill night! cant wait for another one like that.. haha!! but sinful cos
the food was fattening lol!

watch till very late den baby was tired.. we went home around 4am i think..

sunday was a good day.. but poor baby didnt enjoyed her back massage by the
auntie and she was in pain :(.. *patpat*

at night sent baby to lot1 while she dapao chicken rice for dinner and i met max there to go for ashley's 21st birthday at pasir ris ><..


hmm its a wet afternoon..

mmhm still feel abit sleepy actually.. cause i didnt slept much.. only about 4hrs?.. but well i couldnt get back to sleep so i got up..

i slept at around 6:45am.. got home from baby's place at around 4:30am haha almost same as the previous night.. well i cycled to her place to surprise her hehes.. wonder how she felt in her heart when she saw me at her door.. 

i took almost 1hr to get there.. journey was about 10km...

abt supperclub.
-went to xf place get cam..
-wait for kw..
-canto and friend came..
-mad crowd.. more then the last time
-scandals everywhere when most of the crowd was high *kissing smooching etc* *ehem*
-got fight at the end...


finished dinner now talking to baby on gmail chat..
interesting, first time using gmail to chat..

now i know why students like to use gmail..
its really good for project discussion etc
since they got build in software for online chatting which also allows group chat and also video/voice chat..

hmm saw the review for the movie "Ju-On: White Ghost & Black Ghost (PG/Some Disturbing Scenes)"
seems like what my friend told me is quite true.. he said it sucked, wasnt scary and it was lame.. so well i dont think i will want to catch this movie in the cinema..

poor baby still working.. had to OT..

i like how sweet she was today.. made me feel wanted and loved..
although its not some surprises/actions but just texts thru sms.. but enough to make me smile already :)
宝贝你今天是不是喝了很多蜜糖！为何今天特别甜 blehs hehe..

love the way she say she miss me and love me.. she seldom says things like that de.. cos she find it too mushy i think haha!.. i feel loved when she says sweet stuffs like that..

but when she emo then very scary le! *hides*

baby jia you with your work :)
hope you finish soon yah :)
tmr friday le! <3

today i slept at around 5+am i think after getting back from supperclub at around 430am.. set alarm at 730am to give baby morning call.. after that rolled around on my bed awhile before i fell asleep till around 12pm? then woke up and ben ask me out for lunch at my fav duck noodle stall.. after that went to zen place for swimming all the way till evening..
its quite a good day =)

will update about yest night later..


*smiles* today i feel im one step closer to my decision..
i guess this is wat i shd do instead of just wasting time thinking..
thanks alot ben for accompanying me down..

well had lunch at holland v.. in nydc.. well quite disappointing..
their carbonara wasnt good.. and it cost about $20 after all the charges..

bahh.. rather just eat the duck noodles at my hse area next time..
its the best and i never get sick of it..

guess dar shd be off from work le bah.. i hope everything went well for her..





cheer up baby girl.. though i dont know the exact cause and its like the first time i seeing u emo..

perhaps its due to your career?.. or something bad happened at work today?..

well i dont think i can advise much in the career area since im having a big issue on that too myself..

but im always willing to listen.. and be there if u need..

having headache..
guess i been under the sun for too long today haha!..
but i liked it..
turning in at around 2230hrs tonight..
as tmr i've gt to settle somethings..

have to wash off my wax again =/


mhm~ finally a day of sun!
really nice.. compared to all that rainy wet days..
hope tmr will be sunny again!

had some run earlier with ben after his done with his sim revision class..
haha then he share with me about how this hot chick get to know him.. interesting indeed :)..

well.. today didnt get to go IDP again though.. arghs!
by all means tmr im deffinitely going there..

oh well im going to get a good shower..
since im almost cooled down from all that heat earlier on..

after that will take my dinner and head out to meet zen..

-some interesting post on facebk by my friend..



Chandra Chandrasegaran Little into dept , we realise that it's getting deeper each step. Watch that step and take it slow or else you'll Drown if you try harder.Measure that dept slow with the steps as still water runs deep.Take life a step at a time pal's.Life is short make it sweet.

nice quote from my MSG back in those driver days.. anyway he's a 3WO now.. so congrats :).. although he screw us upside down last time but i kinda miss those days now haha..

Anyway..
tired.. dont wana sleep till noon!
healthier sleeping habits plss..

Good Night! <3
我就是那么的傻。。




梁靜茹─「接受」歌詞

作詞：阿管　作曲：林毅心　編曲：Mool/Yugi　和聲：馬毓芬

彷彿上一分鐘　你還陪在我左右　還以為我們會開花結果
我還記得玫瑰色天空　卻模糊了我們的臉孔　哼過的歌到底是什麼內容

＊彷彿已經自由　下一刻我變成風　吹過你的領空　差點失控
　回憶在夜裡鬧得很兇　我想我可以明白你所有的痛
　想讓你知道我懂　卻擔心言不由衷

＃我們都接受　一定是彼此不夠成熟　在愛情裡分不了輕重
　誠實得過了頭　不能退後也無法向前走
　愛是一個自私的念頭　把寂寞消除的理由
　剩下的那些感動　能記得多久

Repeat ＊，＃，＃


i have nothing much to say tonight..
just going to sleep early..

it hurts abit..
but..
its good to be reminded once awhile..
sometimes we get too involved in something we tend to overlook ourselves..

before i make the same mistakes again..

不想再次被人看不起。。

when we're back in the comfort zone.. we tend to overlook certain things again.. things we swear before to never repeat..

Swift and Decisive..
我需要有多点性格！

let me decide this once and for all.. im sick of it.. maybe i need to be selfish.. my parents and some pple thinks that i doesnt think and has no sense of urgency.. but how well do they know it inside of me? both has always been my nemesis deep down.....

我很气！！
我好像一直在为其他人而活。。
请问，这也算不算一种性格呢？

Ben says (1:03 AM):
trust me lar once you made a decision hor
everything will flow naturally
but i tell you already
when you ORD
it doesnt mean life gets easier
it actually gets harder

thanks ben....


hais.. sian seriously..

at home facing the music.. as if all the noise is going to help me..
im getting fedup...


mhm.. first day of the week..

feeling abit stoned..


the weather is seriously irritating me...
when are those sunny days going to come back!

i hate all these cloudy gloomy crap rainy weather..
arghhh!!

i feel like a trapped fish or something.. and the sky right now
is like a wall paper.. everyday its the same!! cloudy dark sky..
and poor lightings...

oh gosh!.. doesnt it just amplifies whatever gloomy side u has
during that moment?

if im superman.. i'll freaking fly up there.. and get a super big fan
or vacuum cleaner to blow/suck all the clouds to somewhere else!

its so stupid.. when i was in tekong it was sunny and heatwave every
single day! we pray for rain then, but it dont even drop a hair of water..

then when im out of tekong and ORDed.. everyday is a wet/cloudy day..

天啊，你可真会跟我开玩笑。。。

sings:
Rain, rain, go away
Come again some other day
We want to go outside and play
Come again some other day


just got back home after watching an emo love movie with dar at her place..

wat a time of the day.. lols.. dar must be pigging happily now already.. hais.. well we're supposed to go cycling later.. but i duno if i can wakeup in time anot..

anyway i've been missing from home for almost 2 days.. well quite alittle bit of happening here and there.. spent most of the time with dar and today spent alot of hours at bukit panjang plaza with my bros and sis.. benson, zen and tiff..

well lets hope for good weather today ya..

goodnight..<3

ps: i hope to see that familiar face the moment i wakeup.. but i know its impossible :)..

a side note: the choice and chance is always in our hands.. how we going to decide and make use of it is another thing..


decent swimming session just now with ben..

now feeling abit wobble lol..

but still im looking forward towards the night plans =p


my silly girl....

msg her told her i finished my run and sweat like shit and stink.. den she said..

"Wah like that quite man leh.. den later must see if yr rat got become firm already or nt.. Haha"

i was like O_O when i see the message.. hahaha! wthhh wat a term.. RAT LOL!!

i reply her "Wah wat rat? 哪来的老鼠？？I dun have a pet rat wor hahaha!"

so funny! wth lols!.. silly yin so random! hahahaha! im gona poke u when i see u! lol!! still 老鼠老鼠 LOL!! bth so funny!!... HAHAHA


just came back from running with ben..

gosh.. i stink badly.. if darling with me i think she cfm knock out HAHA!
later she dun wan me liao sia hahaaa hor baby *looks at dar :(*.. i know she hate smelly guys LOL! bleh!

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/ammonia.htm

no wonder in tekong i dont stink so much although i sweat alot during all the PT too.. i need to drink more water!

Quote:
One other factor to consider is water intake. The methods used for getting rid of excess ammonia, such as urine and sweat, all require water as a transport mechanism. If you are not getting adequate fluid, then the solution (ammonia + water) will not be diluted. Therefore, water plays a definite role. If you are not drinking enough fluids to have at least one or two clear urinations every day, you should drink more.

mhm~ maybe going to swim at 430pm with ben.. 2nd round of exercise..


got back from zen's place..

bought him a swimming trunk which kinda match tiff's tattoo.. hope he liked it haha!

well.. we had quite a long swim.. and some catching up with the guys.. ben and zn.. been awhile since we had a guys night out.. as usual we're full of shit lol! all the stupid jokes and bitching at the pool..

and ben and mine laughter filling up the atmosphere as usual.. probably scared afew passerby i guess HAHA!..

but it was so cold.. so well i almost fell sick.. got flu for awhile.. but now im fine already..

didnt knew baby had a bad day.. sorry for not being there :(.. until she smsed me about it.. sighs silly baby.. *pats* i hope u're better after our 1hr+ chat with afew second of paranormal encounter lol! that voice was so freaky..

after the chat she went to bed..
and she sms me saying "Thanks dear.. luv ya xoxoxo"
so sweet.. *hugs baby*

tmr going for run with ben.. hope the weather will be SUNNY!

to zen: cheer up bro.. i'll see how i can help..