today was crazy.. had a long day with the Ka-Chingers.. though sadly most of them has their own events and left after the induction and only a handful remained and hung out, but it was still filled with fun and laughter.. it felt like ages since i hung out with my school mates.. even back in Poly days it wasn't like as fun as now.. i kinda realized how boring my life was before..
today im so fascinated by all the CCA in sim.. alot of them sparked my interest.. *happy*.. going to join afew with my fellow Ka-Chingers.. i want my 3yrs uni life to be a fruitful one :) unlike the stupid me during poly where i just kept playing games.. wat a waste of my life seriously..
but well i learnt it the hard way.. just not going to repeat the same mistakes again.. study hard and play hard!
First time i kinda feel excited about campus life.. So far our group has been very united and nice, i hope this will stay throughout the 3 years and even after that.. as some of us are in different class i just hope that everyone will remain in contact and not drift apart..
going to sleep soon.. tired haha!
tmr sch officially start for everyone esp those taking business computing and not in BC5
jiayou~ :)
nights!
Sunday, June 27, 2010 - 11:14 PM
finally im here sitting infront of my com blogging again..
lols.. well ya im back from the sim-rmit orientation camp.. its true that it wasnt as bad as i thought.. i thought its going to be dam embarrassing and lame.. but well at least it didnt turn out to be that extreme.. i just wish that we had more time to bond within our group.. i think we only really open up this morning and really dared to talk to each other including the girls lol but well thats also when we're almost breaking camp and leaving already.. lol!.. kinda unbearable to depart from each other at the end.. wats this feeling lol.. isit how camp feels like? hmm.. its the first orientation camp i ever been to and im not a very camp person so well this is definitely a new experience i had.. surprisingly it somehow felt good..
its really was quite funny and crazy.. though i think the captain ball game was abit scary as some groups really played rough and even some of the girls were like pushing and stuff.. :x gosh.. my group guys were like "wow okay.." we didnt wana go rough so kinda just give way to the girls.. so we didnt did that well for that game..
anyway some of the girls and guys were really sporty and u can see they must had been from school previously.. either for volley ball / netball and even basket ball..
theres so much i feel like writing but i think i duno how to write le lol!..
but really after this camp i understand how important orientation camps are.. i should had went for my poly orientation camp last time.. maybe then my poly life would be different.. but well i chose to go for this orientation camp this time is also cause i dont want to repeat the same mistake twice haha! i didnt had much friends in poly compared to those who went for the camp so i understand how isit like..
still remember on sat morning i was like so stressed and alone when i reach LT1.10 at around 810am.. come to think of it.. its like as if it was a dream.. lolz.. i wish i wasnt like so "old" though.. most my fellow course mate were like year 1989 - 1991.. gosh..
our group 3 "Kaching" OGL were great.. abi aka (ahbee) lmao!, vivian and flora.. they really shared alot of their experience with us and say can help us get second hand text books or notes etc.. it was really sweet of them.. and i really admire their enthusiasm and how they can stay positive even when we were like so dead and not responsive initially.. they didnt gave up and kept trying to help us with cheers and through the games..
vivian can be so lame sometimes lmao.. like coming out with the group name Kaching cause our camp theme was monopoly ma.. so kaching is like the money sound.. =x faints! haha!.. but i see that as a reason why they're suitable for being OGLs..
so far.. Student council 'seems' quite interesting.. im alittle interested in joining them.. but well i'll find out more information first.. after all im more interested in their photography club and swimming & lifeguard club..
just a rough entry about the camp for now.. i'll update more later when i have more time :)
Friday, June 25, 2010 - 10:33 PM
wow.. amazing and crazy stunts indeed.. saw it thru kangwei post in facebook.. some girls really look hot on bikes..
suddenly kinda like berms again haha.. well alot of things i kinda feel like buying and doing nowadays..
ahh.. ><~
tmr is the orientation camp le.. hmm first time going for one.. i didnt even went for my poly orientation camp.. well im sure of all the very embarrassing and lame games but well just hope everything will be fine..
Thursday, June 24, 2010 - 12:47 AM
tired sia.. had a long day..
finally can sit down.. but still got lots of paper work to do actually.. omg..
tmr alot of things to do again.. shit man... this whole week is tight scheduled..
ah.. i really need to make the right choice at the right time else its just gona waste more of my time running here and there..
super shagged...
going to sleep soon.. tmr need to wakeup early to work..
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 - 3:28 AM
today has been quite a tiring day.. drove for like almost half a day.. covered 131km and eating up almost half tank of petrol.. cant believe it.. during my ns days i could drive more then that and i dont see the petrol or diesel going down as fast.. :x anyway i think eventually i might really travel over the whole Singapore without knowing lol.. I need a GPS!!
hmm when a person unlucky hor.. everything will really just suck haha.. i had my FIRST EVER parking fine today -_-!.. so want to kill that kuku.. he come check on my car when my coupon expire for 7 mins.. well thats wat he states on the parking offence fine.. state tat im 7 mins late.. wtf sia.. wat a dick head.. hope next time his own vehicle kena..
but well cant blame la also my fault to stay longer without extending my coupon and play risk.. so well this shows that we should never risk.. or assume..
in Singapore.. everything just Follow Law! really sickening..
anyway just paid the fine online..
and well just kinda finished with my business related work.. so got to sleep soon as tmr i need to meet a seller at 11am..
recently hasnt been sleeping well pimples also start coming out liao lor.. face getting so dam oily =/
Tmr will be a long day.. quite afew stuffs need to do.. including having lunch with parents..
jiayou..
family getting better in a way.. and my mood also recovering.. but still alot suay things happening so i guess i just have to be even more careful.. think i gonna turn paranoid man.. if anymore stupid thing happens..
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 - 2:22 AM
Thanks ling.. i guess im the same old yc u knew back in the MU days right haha..
Well tried driving the new car which dad bought to replace the old sunny.. Looks like it isnt that bad.. but still need to get use to the turning point and stuffs as its kinda bigger compared to sunny.. In a sick way i miss the manual transmission although i always curse driving manual during traffic jams and when i have to half clutch on a slope especially in multi story carpark.. =x.. bahhz.. im so contradicting haha... screw me..
I hope i will get to afford my own car in the coming few years..
But i wonder, by then would i still buy Honda Integra? which is my favourite.. so far non other car really can make me fall in love.. i feel that Integra is just nice in term of everything.. but sadly dont know why they stop manufacturing this model ler...
anyway no insurance will cover me when im still on P-plate.. which means during this 1year i cant buy a car even if i got the money.. so well just got to wait..
Monday, June 21, 2010 - 5:51 PM
read weiting's blog.. kinda feel wat she was thinking.. some of the post kinda remind me of my thoughts too..
im so weak when it come to emotional issues.. haha.. overall i feel im WEAK! and i HATE it.. why i couldnt make full use of this life which im blessed with.. sometimes theres so many things i feel i hate about myself..
and i hate it even more when people dont understands wat im going through..
weiting i agree with u..
quote from her..
"Saturday, May 22, 2010
i opened up the convo and stared at the blank space for quite some time. no idea what to say. so i closed it.
Monday, May 31, 2010
as much as i wanted to believe how noble love is, it's really sad to say that the presence of the reality make you realise that you can never have this kind of thinking in mind. i'm starting to believe that eventually when i'm 25(okay, the age i'm intending to get married=.=), this guy may not be the one i had loved the most.
i used to believe that so long as you get to marry the one you loved the most in your lifetime, any problems could be worked out. aiyer who's going to guarantee that you tell me.
However, if one day i'm given a choice, i'll still choose this belief. contradicting eh?=s
the past, the present and the future of the other half, which of them makes up the most important determining factor to you? If you ask me, i bet my answer's gonna shock you.
I'm beginning not to understand myself anymore, sometimes i even freak myself out. i look at my going-to-get-married-soon sister, and my going-to-get-married-also boss, my perspective towards love, relationship and marriage changed. why am i becoming so realistic in life. sian leh.
a part of me says that from now on never ever go into a relationship with your true feelings anymore. but the other part of me tells me that, i'm born to be traditional, i can never play around or fool around cause i'm not cut out to do that."
- 5:24 PM
dont like this feeling at all..
Sunday, June 20, 2010 - 3:13 AM
Got up from my nap and I couldn't get back to sleep.. Had some hot green tea and was just dazing in the dark living room earlier.. Feels weird.. Somethings missing but I can't tell what is what already..
Sigh.. Oh well.. Scribbling on my notebook before I try to get back to sleep.. Nowadays when I'm alone my expression is always (-.-) .. So lifeless.. Argh..
Hope to see better results soon to assure myself that all my effort hasn't gone in waste..
Sis hasn't come back yet hais duno where she go also.. She's like me.. Family doesn't share with each other on how we feel etc.. It's so awkward sometimes.. Let's see if she will be around tmr.. Maybe I'll try talking to her..
I can't wait to achieve my goals.. Each problem I faced just reminds me how important money is to everyone.. Lifes is harsh and realistic.. Through my recent investments I learnt the importance of knowing how to plan well.. It's important to know how to manage your savings and finance.. And I know how hard it is to start a biz.. Without a network..
But I hate it cos networking also build on money.. And sometimes u have to do things u don't really enjoy and spending additional expenses without a promise that they will be interested in your products or your ideas..
Really disgusting sometimes..
So much so much more! I have yet to experience and learn.. I have so much goals I hope to achieve in the next 3years during my uni studies..!
I want to be able to pay for my own living, car, treat my friends and family to meals etc.. My own investment funds..
Trying my best.. Everyday is an opportunity!
People tell me I always give myself additional stress and worries.. Sometimes I think they're right.. But I have no idea how to relax or change it.. I can only try to care lesser or maybe something else..
Maybe I'm always under stress from family, friends and gf expectations.. Always trying to be the best but I'm still a human and I only have limited resources.. When I feel I couldn't do certain things I just stress myself more.. Hais so tiring..
Sometimes when u have no one to talk to.. Writing it out seems good.. Though u can't feel the warmth from a caring soul but at least u don't have to worry if the person will get tired of ur craps or whether they will understands etc
K but think I wrote enough crap le.. Should clear my mind abit for me to sleep without bad dreams tonight? I hope....
Saturday, June 19, 2010 - 10:05 PM
On my bed already.. Well I think Im lost in my own world recently.. Running around trying to get things done etc..
I don't feel like thinking.. So much bothering me now already..
Thursday, June 17, 2010 - 5:26 PM
will i ever forget..
im so weak lately..
i must not give up... ><..
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 - 10:41 PM
where are u always when i need u? is it really so hard to find care and concern in this world?.. tiring to fight alone all the time..
anyway ignore me im just saying qi hua.. people who knows me long enough should know how am i like..
my sis called to check on the situation.. den duno why after that sms me and question me again about why i didnt want to go overseas.. wth lor.. why people only know how to access situation on the surface and never go indept.. maybe to everyone i was really undriven, lazy and useless.. but even when i get driven.. why i still see no one being supportive? haha.. i just has to face all of these my self..
if i went overseas.. i think its gona be even harder for my dad.. since now this accident case is going to cost us a fair amount of money.. due to drink driving.. the insurance aint going to cover a cent.. thats why i hate insurance sometimes.. they say until so nice when u're buying but when shit happens and when you want to claim.. u have to go through alot of shit paper work and they wont immediate grant you the coverage..
haiz... i know going overseas study is better.. learn to be independant etc gain more knowledge and aids with my maturity.. but theres also a risk that i might get influenced or something else?.. i also know my weakness and im not as confident with myself being in overseas alone for 3years.. and this risk involves like almost 300k! seriously i rather not risk it especially when its not even my own money..
apparently they dont see wat i meant and only think of the bad things.. assuming im lazy.. dont dare to take risk bla bla..
wth lar.. im tired of even my own family unable to understand and support my decisions.. and yet they always want me to make my decision but not supporting it.. how contradicting right? how am i going to grow into a confident man with this fear of making the right decision..
im upset..
just going to keep myself busy..
i dont wish to think anymore..
- 2:54 AM
Sister just went out, going to bail her friend out from the police station and bring her to the hospital.. It must be horrible.. Sigh :( but yet she still tells me not to worry.. Haiz... Wonder how is everything going to be..
Seriously curse the asshole who knock into my sister car first.. What a jerk! And yet still push the blame to them! It's a freaking guy somemore.. Bullying 2 ladies.. Wat kind of man is he.. WTF lor he just made used of the situation and blame it on my sis and her friend.. Cause they drank abit but they're still sober... Haiz..
How I wish sometime these bloody f up kinda pple get their judgement.. But in this world so far it always appear that they are the ones who pass judgement and enjoy the best out of life..
Can tell that Dad's very worried as he just got up and he's alone watching tv now.. Since I don't know how to cheer him up I guess I can only give him some space now and see how tmr.. I can't wait to achieve my goals and be of more aid to my family.. Which is one of the reason why I drop the chance to go overseas for my studies..
Sighs.. Wish the idiot driver won't be as a bastard and push more shit to us... I got a feeling he will want to take this opportunity to claim from us also lor.. I hope he won't be such an asshole!
Let's see how tmr....
- 2:18 AM
Sigh.. A day filled with afew unhappy events.. But who would expect the last thing to happen before the day ended would be hearing your sister got into an accident..
Sighs I'm glad that at least she's fine.. though the car is totally wrecked.. Sighs.. We all learned something from every bad experience but why must it always till the point which it happened then we wish that we knew it earlier? Life is short I really hate having regrets.. One of my goals now is to make the right choice and live through each day without regrets.. If I can achieve this it mean I'm on the right track and improving..
I'm tired.. Really.. People say this is a bad year for us but I didn't really believe.. But seem that it hasn't been that smooth.. Isit by chance where they choose to happen continuously or isit really something else..
I'm glad I've a friend brightening up my night when this news came in.. Everytime when I'm down and alone I feel so helpless and hopeless.. Friends and love ones are very critical at points like this.. They either help u overcome ur issues, leave u to die or make things worst.. If you have friends around you who truly cares please appreciate them and not hurt them in return..
I will continue to strive and work hard towards the goal and ambition I've set for myself and my close ones..
My past was filled with regrets but there's nothing I can do to turn back time and undo or make full use of what I used to have.. The only thing I can do is stop wasting anymore precious time!
Goodnight.. I hope everything will be fine for my family and sister.. Also her friend whom is in trouble now being the driver.. And she's more seriously injuried.. Sighs can't imagine the kind of regret and pain my sister feeling though she still appear strong infront of us.. Sighs :(
Drive safe everyone.. Though I know there's alot of idiotic drivers on the road.. We just has to get use to them and let them go first..
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 - 9:50 PM
everyday have so much task waiting to be done lol.. really going crazy.. how i wish i have someone thinking like i do.. sharing all these business talk with me...
but i have to overcome this.. because its one of the personal goals i want to achieve.. and i hope to have a break through in my own personality..
many people show no interest in wat im trying to share with them.. i must not give up.. because the next person might be the one..
so there must be no comfort zone.. comfort zone make people slack and unproductive.. im not easily sastified.. i can be very ambitious and over demanding from myself and other areas.. but im also very impatience..
just have to slowly sort out my task one by one.. and i really need to arrange time for sports too.. before i get drown by all these overwhelming stress..
but i believe this stage is either i have a break through or i die trying...
Monday, June 7, 2010 - 3:29 PM
sians.. mum suddenly go and talk to me about some past things and rub my old wounds.. haiz.. understand they're saying it for my own good.. but certain past i think i rather not talk about it if possible..
trying not to think nor care..
Work work work..
Saturday, June 5, 2010 - 5:55 PM
its a quiet sat hmm..
well taking this time to do up my long overdued work.. so well will be staying at home on a sat i guess hahas..
school starting in july.. i really hope i will adapt to campus life again.. after leaving it for almost 3years?.. i'll study hard this time and make use of campus facilities unlike poly days when i never even borrowed a single book from the library.. lols -.-"
Dj james is spinning tonight at supperclub! omg :( gona miss it as i've got more important stuffs to attend to! sad.. i love his style of techno.. really brings back the feel of mu days.. and so far non other dj's can let me feel as high on techno as he could.. he always play the right mix and track..
ahh!! miss dancing to techno..
work hard so can play and relax when its time to..
jiayou!
Friday, June 4, 2010 - 6:44 PM
sighs why bad things keep happening.. 1 after another.. just when i tot the tides are almost done den this kinda thing happened..
if i cant even help myself now..its true that helping others is even harder
cheer up..
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 - 3:53 PM
still hasnt fully recovered from my emotional state. or am i suffering from the aftermath..
struggling to keep my mind set on task but facing difficulties..
