time passed really fast.. maybe its because im not in the army anymore.. this year seem to pass really fast!
i can still remember last year's xmas in my head.. rebel with the guys and all the crazy parties.. and how broken-ed i still was back then..
have i really healed or even changed since last year? i still wondering.. perhaps all the time i was just lost within myself..
right now.. im clearing my hotmail.. 14k over emails! well mostly are stupid social updates spams..
emails since year 2004! hahaha.. unbelievable... saw alot of old memories inside... sighs...
am i so sentimental until i like to keep every single memory? be it horrible or beautiful ones? this is really unhealthy.. at times i really wish i can just let go of some things just like that.. but not.. its always easily said then done.. i can only try not to think about them or ignore their presence..
i really need dear Son Dam Bi to wake me up... loving this song..
im not feeling well inside.. really.. dont ask me why i nv say it out.. reason is i dont know how to??.. some of the things which use to be able to cheer me up doesnt seem to work already... i start to have this mask infront of pple.. unable to show my true emotions.. why do i have to get stressed up over what pple think of me? when most of them just take me for granted?..
emotions all wired up like a time bomb.. its feeling like that which holds me back.. perhaps someone is right.. infact i probably know it myself too.. theres still some ties from the past which im still unable and hasnt cut clear.. isit me or becos i wasnt given a chance to move on?.. its hard to believe and feel the same again anymore in future..
i just realized its been so long since i last blogged..
gosh.. i think my life kinda changed quite abit since then.. well i dont know if its to the better or not.. but i think i gotten FAT again since sept.. arghs.. have been having late suppers and sleeping late due to stress lately..
work seems endless.. taking care of so many small pets is really not an easy task.. not to mention all the driving.. energy sucking monster..
bahhs.. maybe i shd still continue the habit to blog so that i can relief some stress and emotions here perhaps.. i getting so agitated and irritated recently..
anyway theres alot of task im looking forward to complete before the end of this year..
- clearing of accounts
- proper customer database setup
- finish up the shopping site with all product listed
- full revamp of the hamstery
- set up a gardening corner in my backyard for sunflowers etc *thinking*
- reformat my com! its lagging and i cant work well with lag and frequent hangs
- get a new router and cable modem *connection has been poor lately and it shd be hardware issues*
thats all for now..
so much more on my mind..
bahh.. guess this year's zoukout i wont be able to attend since theres so much work to accomplish and also non of my friends going this year i think.. i think zoukout is really cool.. went for the first time in my life last year and it was an eye opener for me..
anyway takecare ppl! and why is my tagboard being attacked by stupid drones!
