time passed really fast.. maybe its because im not in the army anymore.. this year seem to pass really fast!
i can still remember last year's xmas in my head.. rebel with the guys and all the crazy parties.. and how broken-ed i still was back then..
have i really healed or even changed since last year? i still wondering.. perhaps all the time i was just lost within myself..
right now.. im clearing my hotmail.. 14k over emails! well mostly are stupid social updates spams..
emails since year 2004! hahaha.. unbelievable... saw alot of old memories inside... sighs...
am i so sentimental until i like to keep every single memory? be it horrible or beautiful ones? this is really unhealthy.. at times i really wish i can just let go of some things just like that.. but not.. its always easily said then done.. i can only try not to think about them or ignore their presence..
i really need dear Son Dam Bi to wake me up... loving this song..
im not feeling well inside.. really.. dont ask me why i nv say it out.. reason is i dont know how to??.. some of the things which use to be able to cheer me up doesnt seem to work already... i start to have this mask infront of pple.. unable to show my true emotions.. why do i have to get stressed up over what pple think of me? when most of them just take me for granted?..
emotions all wired up like a time bomb.. its feeling like that which holds me back.. perhaps someone is right.. infact i probably know it myself too.. theres still some ties from the past which im still unable and hasnt cut clear.. isit me or becos i wasnt given a chance to move on?.. its hard to believe and feel the same again anymore in future..
