nowadays theres really nothing good to write about.. family life is like shit.. staying in singapore already has limited freedom with all the laws.. but its even worst to stay in a family thats empty.. and just full of unhappiness.. if we cant even be open to our own family tell me who else can we be open to?? arent family suppose to be the one right next to u supporting and consoling you always? but this has never been the case for me since i was able to think..
how can i be happy? if the home im in isnt even a happy one to begin with.. a little bit then spark a argument and shit.. sighs.. and i've got my own ego and dignity as a guy.. its really hard to do certain things or say certain things even if the situation calls for it.. its especially hard if its not your fault to begin with... sucking ur thumb and say certain things just to make peace sometimes just doesnt solve the root issue.. its just going to arise again.. and are you going to keep sucking your thumb??
sighs.. even now doing business also has to see their face.. on the surface they say they support.. but when things doesnt go their 'expectations' they are the one making the biggest fuss and noise towards me.. how can that be called as a way of being 'supportive' or 'advising'?? its more like telling me dont do anything i want to do and just follow their believes and set of rules...
even when im doing things out of being concern and for the good of the family.. they also make so much noise.. tell me.. how can someone not get depressed and eventually became dead numb to all hopes??..
yes this may happen as part of everyone's family.. but they have their happy times too when their parents might bother to ask nicely on their children's life and how are they? what they need?.. mine? what do they bother??.. i seriously cant think of anything i feel comforting enough to mention...
its just pure hollowness.. its not a warm family.. its just pure stranger and cold feeling in here.. and i've starting to become a mute.. and emotionless...
really feel like giving up many times in my life.. but isnt that back to square 1?? but on the other hand.. having a constant war with your family is really not something enjoyable..
i hate it!! which is why i cant wait to be able to have my own life!!!!!
真的不想留在这个地方！！ 很烦！！！
