Dear Diary,
Looks like I'm back here, well it's been really long since i stopped again although i promised to continue blogging during my last post..
As usual a lot happened.. some unhappy and some happy ones..
Actually during this long period i've been wanting to write but somehow i just kept procrastinating and eventually forgotten to note down all my thoughts and life experiences..
Sometimes i really wondered what god had in plan for me for my life.. Like what people said perhaps i still hasn't learnt what life wanted me to learn, therefore i will keep facing the same problems and making the same mistakes..
The drive which made me wrote again today was given by G.E.M, went to her concert last night 30/01/15 which was the first of her 3 nights concert in Singapore for her X.X.X world tour.. I must say that i was just a normal fan of her music before last night, but after listening to her live concert, her music and voice's really inspired and touched my heart..
Life's short sometimes we really shouldn't brood over spilled milk or stay too long in our sorrows, i've known all these theories about life but executing them really just seem very difficult. At many point of my life i feel as if I'm the only person behaving this way, everyone out there seem to be behaving differently.. I'm sorry if you're reading this and not knowing what I'm talking about as I'm just blogging blindly about my thoughts..
Perhaps i just didn't had the right people beside me who could give me the right advise and help at the time of need. Whenever I'm down all they could do is give general words, who would really be there to reach down deep into your sorrows and give you the right healing touch? Not many would and could.. Over time i've already given up on it and learnt to keep things to myself..
Friends? People who claim to be friends were merely just passerby, when you needed help how many will really take time off their task and learn to understand how to make you feel better? It's not just simple words, simple meal, or simple companion.. It's about being real! and not just for the sake of doing it, and behind your back telling other friends or people that "its normal", "oh thats him"..
Im tired.. and i can't be bothered about friends anymore.. if friendship is just merely about having someone to accompany you for meals or over the weekend to chat about senseless topics then i rather not have friends.. why spend time to be with people whom aren't even true to you? isn't it just a waste of time?.. I've seen what friends can do.. being pissed off just because you're being yourself and can't spend time with them? when you're upset instead of being understanding they expect you to pick up their calls and reply their messages.. Do they give a dam about how you feel? Why you're not replying, why aren't you answering.. It's because we need a break from life.. and instead of giving you space they tried to drag you out.. using their own perception that bringing you out would make you feel better? How does it helps when during the meet up we still had to put up a smile like everything's alright so that we don't affect the whole group who's out to enjoy their weekends..
On the other hand i've friends whom seek you for help when they're in need of cash, and giving tons of promises and lies just to make you believe in them and lend them the cash.. and when we asked them back for it, they actually quarrel with you over it.. All these heartbreaking experiences made me feel that true friends doesn't exist anymore.. Now everyone's just using each other for networking or companionships.. How ironic.... Is this what's life's about? It sure isn't the way how i wish life to be..
I've kept too much emotion bottled up.. till the extend i feel that I'm being consumed by it...
Will continue next time, have to go out for work now..
P.S G.E.M, you truly inspired me. although i'm not your loyal fan, but you did left me a very memorable night with your music and speech last night.
